


Back to Black

by LightLeadingMe



Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-25 16:29:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14981060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightLeadingMe/pseuds/LightLeadingMe
Summary: Jack and Karen get into a fight.





	1. Chapter 1

Chatter and loud music was heard about the busy bar on the late, chilly fall night. The rain had stopped, but the pavement still glistened and people walked with their umbrellas down as they tried to avoid the puddles. Karen sat at the bar, sipping her martini delicately as she watched Will, Grace, and Jack dancing in the crowd. Jack was grinding with his new beau and Karen giggled, pleased with the happiness that radiated from her best friend. She glanced behind Jack and narrowed her eyes at his boyfriend. She didn't get a good vibe from this guy. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something was definitely off. She shook her head and went back to her drink. Before she knew it, the glass was empty and she was thirsty for another. She opened her mouth to order another, but Jack bounced over to her and cut her off.

"Kare!" He exclaimed, sweat glistening off his forehead. "Isn't Jonah dreamy?" 

Karen didn't even try to hide her eye-roll. "He's great, honey," she sarcastically replied. 

Jack pouted and watched Karen order another drink. Well, not so much order as she did bark it at the poor bartender while throwing peanuts at him. "What's going on, Kare?" he asked her with a frown. "Don't you like Jonah?"

Karen shrugged. "I don't know, honey," she said honestly. "There's just something about him that I'm not too keen on."

His eyebrows furrowed together. "Well, you just don't know him, yet!" He placed a hand on her upper arm and grinned at her. "Why don't you go over there and dance with him? He's an ah-may-zing dancer!"

"Honey, I really don't think-"

"Go, Karen, go!" He practically pushed her off the stool and over to the man dancing with Will. Karen raised an eyebrow at the look on Jonah's face as he watched Will dancing in front of him, his eyes glued to his ass, and the uneasy feeling increased tenfold. Jack didn't seem to notice as he shoved her in front of the man's face. "Jonah! Dance with Karen! I'll go get us some drinks!"

Karen sighed as Jonah happily grabbed her by the hips and began dancing with her. "I'm so glad we get to do this, Karen," he said over the loud music. "Jack talks about you nonstop!" Karen mumbled nonsense under her breath in response and counted the seconds she would be back at the bar with her martini. "But let's set something straight," Jonah said in her ear, causing Karen to freeze in her spot on the dance floor. "Jack is mine, got it, hag?"

Karen spun around and was ready to lay into the good-for-nothing little shit when Jack came bounding over. 

"Here ya go!" He handed the cosmopolitan to Jonah, receiving a kiss in response and looked between the two. Jonah was acting normal, but Karen had a death glare fixed on her face. "Is everything okay?" 

"Fine," Karen bit. "I'll be at the bar." She stomped away and went back to her martini, downing the glass before screaming at the bartender for another. The jackass had some nerve. This wouldn't be the first boyfriend of Jack's that threatened her. Karen usually took it in strides, but there was still something off about him. She saw Jack scamper off to the bathroom and locked her eyes on Jonah. Will was back dancing with Grace so she watched as Jonah found another man to grind with. At first it was innocent, but then Jonah had his hands all over the guy and soon his tongue was down his throat. Karen gasped, her heart breaking for her Poodle. She watched as the men parted when Jonah noticed Jack coming out of the bathroom. The guy handed him a slip of paper, probably with his contact info on it, and then discretely slipped away just as Jack sidled up next to Jonah. 

Karen scoffed and jumped off her bar stool, tossing and overzealous amount of money at the bartender. She stalked over to Jack and grabbed his arm. "Honey, I need to talk to you."

"What?" Jack shouted over the music, cupping his ear to hear her better.

Karen growled and dragged Jack out of the bar and onto the wet sidewalk, the cold air hitting their overheated skin. "You need to break up with Jonah."

Jack gawked at her. "What?!"

Karen winced at his shrieking and held both of his hands in hers. "Jack, listen to me," she said calmly. "Jonah is no good for you. He's sleezy and a jerk. He threatened me!"

"Oh please, this again?" Jack said with disdain. "Karen, I'm not going to give up my chance of happiness just because you think some guy I'm dating threatened you."

"Think? Jack, he-"

"This is so typical of you! I find a guy and then you get jealous and find some way for me to break things off."

"Jack, he kissed another guy in there!" Karen exclaimed, pointing a finger towards the bar. 

Jack shook his head in disbelief. "Yeah right."

Karen gaped. "I'm serious! He-"

"Hey guys!" Jonah appeared beside them, having just exited the bar. 

Karen glared at him, her hands on her hips. "Tell him," she provoked. "Tell him that you threatened me and how you kissed another guy."

"What?" Jonah feigned innocence, a hand placed on his chest in shock. "I did no such thing! I thought we had a lovely time dancing together, Karen."

"Bullshit!" Karen shouted.

"You know what, that's enough," Jack jumped in, looking down at Karen. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you and your craziness getting in the way of my life."

"Jack, I'm telling the truth!" she defended, but he shook his head.

"No, I don't believe you. You're jealous that you don't get all my attention anymore. I've thrown away perfectly good relationships, running to your side every time you needed me for the stupidest shit because you're so dependent on me!" He raised his voice louder and louder the more upset he became. "I'm beyond sick of it, Karen. And look at this-" he gestured between them. "Pay real close attention to this - another man, leaving you. Stan did it, your first two husbands did it, and now me."

Tears had welled in her eyes quickly at the low blow and she tried to keep them back. "Jack, I-"

"And you know why, Karen? Because you're a pathetic, needy little girl who always has to have things her way. You put up a brave front, but deep down you're weak and scared of actually loving someone with your whole heart. So you push them away. No, I'm done with your excuses, I'm done with your crazy accusations..." He sighed in disappointment and grabbed Jonah's hand in his. "I'm done with you, Karen." He tugged Jonah's hand and they walked past Karen, leaving her there on the sidewalk.

"Jack!" she yelled, tears now finally spilling down her cheeks. "Jack, please!" The two men kept on walking, Jonah with a triumphant skip in his step. Karen let out a sob, feeling like her whole world just came crashing down around her. For once, she wasn't doing anything for personal gain. She was trying to help out her best friend and he just blew her off, choosing his lying asshole of a boyfriend over her. He was right - no one wanted her, even when she was being her true self. Swallowing her emotions down, Karen straightened her spine and raised her chin defiantly before turning on her heel and heading in the opposite direction Jack went, repeating the mantra she had been saying since she was fifteen years old.

"You don't need anyone. You're strong, beautiful, and smart, Karen. You don't need your mother, you don't need friends, you take care of yourself." Her lip trembled and she bit down on it hard, reminding herself to keep it together. "You don't do emotions."

_end part 1_


	2. Chapter 2

Jack walked around his apartment, cleaning it up a little. He had barely been home the past few nights, spending most of his time with Jonah at his place. It had been a week since his blowout with Karen and Jack was beginning to miss her, a feeling that made him angry. He didn't want to miss her, he wanted to be done with her once and for all, but she was his best friend of six years and it was hard to let go. He shook his head and picked up a pillow off the couch, reminding himself that he did what he did for his own happiness. He went to sit down, but noticed Jonah's jacket lying on the couch. He lifted it and put his nose against it, taking in Jonah's scent with a smile. Looking around as if someone would catch him, Jack shuffled the jacket on to his shoulders and hugged himself, his hands in the pockets. He felt a piece of paper under his fingertips and frowned, taking it out to view what it was. 

He read aloud, "Call me, signed Adam...." He looked around the room and then back to the paper, his jaw practically on the floor. "Who the heck is Adam?" Shoving his hands back in the pockets, he found three more numbers with men's names on them, some on napkins, others on torn pieces of receipts, one a business card that said "I had a great time!" written on the back. Jack's heart began to race. There had to be a reasonable explanation for this, right? Jonah wouldn't be cheating on him. Jonah was nice and decent and Jack could really see himself falling for him. 

"Hey Jackie-boy!" Jonah greeted as he opened the door of the apartment. "Ah! You found my jacket! I've been looking everywhere for this!" He tore the jacket off of Jack's shoulders and hugged it close to his chest. "Ugh, Italian leather," he sighed. "There's nothing like it."

Jack just stared at his boyfriend, a wad of crumbled numbers in his fist. "What's this?" he asked, holding his hand up.

Jonah squinted, seeing the paper in his hand and shrugged. "So a few guys hit on me, so what?"

"You kept the numbers," Jack pointed out, his face getting hot with anger.

The man rolled his eyes. "Insurance."

Jack screwed his face up in confusion. "What?

Jonah let out a humorless laugh and clapped Jack on the shoulder. "Come on, are you serious? You've never collected numbers while dating someone in case things didn't work out? I find that hard to believe."

Shaking his head, Jack threw the papers to the floor. "I may have done that in the past, but I thought this was different!" he exclaimed. "And what about this one?" he pointed to the card. "Did you actually go out with that guy?"

"It was one date."

"Oh my God!" Jack fell back on the couch and put his head in his hands, feeling the room spinning around him. "I-I can't believe this."

"Jack, you're overreacting!" Jonah threw his hands out with a nonchalant grin plastered on his face. 

Jack felt sick. The image of Karen flashed in his mind his stomach twisted even tighter, tears beginning to build in his eyes. "Karen was right."

"What?"

He stood from the couch, clenching his fists. "Karen was right about you!" he repeated.

"Oh, please," Jonah scoffed, placing his hands on his hips. "That old hag again? I told you it was good riddance."

"No, it's not good riddance," he hissed. "I lost my best friend, possibly forever, because of you? Of some prick that cheated on me? That threatened her?"

"I didn't threaten her, I just told her to back off cause you were mine."

Jack saw the instant regret come over Jonah's face the second he said the words. "And that's not a threat?" he shouted. "God, you're such an asshole!"

"Jack, let's talk about this-"

"NO!" he screamed, his voice reaching a level that many called the 'howler monkey'. "Get out! I never want to see you again!"

"Jack-"

"OUT!" He pushed Jonah through the door and slammed it in his face, locking the deadbolt immediately. Jack smacked his head against the door, letting the tears finally fall as he squeezed the door handle tightly. A knock sounded suddenly and Jack shook his head, shouting, "Go away, Jonah!"

"Jack? It's Will."

He fumbled, trying to open the door as quickly as he could, feeling his emotions getting the best of him. "Will," he sobbed as he opened the door. He lunged forward and held on to a shocked Will, sobbing on his shoulder. 

Will wrapped his arms around Jack and squeezed him tight. "Hey, what's going on? What happened?" he asked soothingly, rubbing a calm hand over Jack's back. Jack didn't answer and Will began to worry, running crazy scenarios through his head. "Jack, you're scaring me, buddy," he told him, leading the man into the apartment and sitting down with him on the couch. He pulled Jack away from him and held his face in his hands, looking into his bloodshot and swollen eyes. "Just take a deep breath, calm down, and tell me what happened."

Jack hiccuped and relayed the story of the way Jonah treated him and reminding Will of the way Jack treated Karen a week before. Will was well aware of the feud between the two friends, but he didn't quite know to what extent it ran.

"Can you believe it, Will?" he asked, wiping angrily at the tears on his cheeks. "I mean, I lost my best friend over that... that loser? I basically told her to fuck off and for what?" He shook his head and sniffled, taking comfort in Will's hand squeezing his own. 

"Why did you go off on Karen?" Will questioned. "I mean, Karen is many a thing, but a liar is not one of them. If anything, she's the most honest person I know-"

"I know she is!" Jack exclaimed, standing from the couch. "I was the scared one, Will!" he shouted, pointing a blaming finger to his chest. "I wanted so much to be in a relationship and for it to work that I blocked out all the signs that were so obviously in front of me!" He pressed his palm to his forehead, feeling a new wave of tears begin. "She was just trying to protect me," he whispered. 

Will stood and faced Jack, grabbing his arm and pulling it away from his face so he could look into his eyes. "You need to talk to her."

"I can't," Jack whimpered, dropping his gaze to the floor. "I said the most awful things to her, Will."

"I'm sure she'll understand-"

"No, you don't get it." He raised his eyes and locked them back on Will. "I told her I didn't want her, that I was done with her. Will," he bit his trembling bottom lip, his voice cracking with emotion."I told her nobody wanted her, that she's weak and pathetic and that's why everyone leaves her."

"Jack," Will sighed, rubbing his hand up and down his arm. "Why would you say that?"

"I was angry and in denial," he shrugged a shoulder. Crossing his arms over his chest, Jack rolled his head back as if the motion would stop the tears from falling. "God, she probably hates me." He looked back at Will, questions burning in his eyes. "Have you seen her? Spoken to her at all?"

Will crossed his arms over his chest and nodded his head, his eyes on the floor. "Yeah, um, she had dinner with us the other night and she seemed fine, but Grace said she hasn't been coming by the office. I think she showed up for work twice in the whole week."

Jack wiped the excess tears from his face and let out a shuddering breath. "What do you think I should do?"

The lawyer laid a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder, a sympathetic look on his face. "You have to apologize. Tell her why you said what you did and beg her for her forgiveness," he told him.

Jack sniffled, worry plaguing his mind. "What if she doesn't forgive me?"

At this, Will wasn't sure what to say. He patted his friend's shoulder and stepped away and back into the hall. "It'll be okay, Jack," he assured him. "Just tell her the truth."

* * *

 

Karen leisurely swirled her finger in the liquid of her martini glass, stirring the alcohol together repeatedly as she stared off in the distance of her library. She was usually at work by now, but after her blowout with Jack she tried to remain passive among her other friends, taking what he told her to heart. She was also terrified that Grace would pity her and try to have a girl-chat, something Karen was not in the mood for. She lifted the martini to her lips and sipped, letting the strong alcohol warm her insides and numb her feelings. 

"Miss Karen," Rosario greeted as she entered.

Karen looked up and frowned at the uncertain look on the maid's face. "What is it, Rosie?"

Rosario folded her hands in front of her and hesitated before saying, "Mr. Jack is here to see you."

Karen's body stiffened and she just stared up Rosario for a few moments, her once racing mind coming to a complete stop at the mention of her former-best friend's name. She was confused as to why he was there, he made it pretty clear that he never wanted to see her again. She quelled any emotion she felt rising to the surface and nodded indifferently at her maid. Rosario left the room to let Jack in and Karen stood from the chair, walking over to the window to gaze out the window, clutching her martini in her hands like it was a life-source.

Jack cautiously entered the room, his bottom lip stuck between his teeth and his hands wringing together in nerves. Karen turned to face him and for several minutes, no words were said, neither knowing where to begin. 

He finally had enough of the silence and blurted out, "I'm sorry." He walked over to her quickly and stood before her, feeling his emotions creep back up on him. "You were right, Karen," he said, his voice quivering. "I think I knew you were right all along, but I was afraid to admit it because I just wanted so bad to be in a successful relationship. I know you were just trying to protect me, you never lie to me..." He was rambling, he knew it, but he didn't know how to put into words how sorry and bad he felt. Karen stayed quiet and just stared at him, her face apathetic and free of emotion. "I-I broke up with Jonah," he tried lamely.

Again, her face didn't change. She closed the distance between them, placing a cold hand on his arm and Jack smiled at the gesture. She licked her lips and looked up at him, empathy in her eyes. "I'm truly sorry things didn't work out."

With that, she walked past him and sat back down in her chair, taking another drink from her glass.

Jack stared at the back of her head, his eyes filling up with tears again. He walked around to face her, letting the tears fall. "So, that's it?" he asked. "Our friendship is over? Forever?"

Karen met his eyes, an icy glare directed at his way. "I wasn't the one that made that choice," she reminded him. "If you don't mind, I'd like you to leave." 

"Karen, I'm sorry," he tried again, dropping to his knees in front of her, his eyes pleading. "I never should have said what I did. I was just upset. I was wrong-"

"No, you were right," she interrupted him and Jack gawked at her. Karen remained callous, anger and sadness only being conveyed through her voice. "Everyone does leave me in the end, but not because I push them away. They leave because I open up and show them who I really am." She took a deep breath and set her martini on the table beside her chair before standing up and heading for the door. "So congratulations, Jack, you made the cut of being another disappointing man in my life that I can't count on." She walked out of the room and left Jack in ruins on the floor of her library.

* * *

The season changed from fall to winter and snow covered the ground. It was Christmas Eve and Karen was hosting a party for her socialite friends. The manse was filled with soft chatter, jazzy Christmas music playing throughout the large apartment, and joyful smiles adorned the guest's faces. Karen stood by the staircase with a flute of champagne delicately held in her nimble fingers. She discreetly used her free hand to pull up the bodice of her sweetheart neckline black evening gown, making sure the girls weren't about to pop out. The doorbell rang and she lifted the train of her gown, slowly walking over to open the door. Will and Grace stood in the doorway, holding an array of gifts in their hands. 

"Hey kiddos, come on in," she greeted them with a welcoming smile. "Rosie!" She bit out over her shoulder and the maid seemed to have appeared out of thin air.

"Yeah, yeah," Rosie grumbled, taking the gifts from them. "Merry Christmas, chicas," she grinned, accepting the kisses on her cheeks from Will and Grace. She went to close the front door, but noticed Jack lingering in the doorway, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Mr. Jack, aren't you coming in?"

Karen's head snapped towards the doorway where she too spotted Jack and Will rushed right over to her, placing his hand on her forearm. He leaned down and whispered into her ear, "He had no where to go, Kare. His mom is on a cruise for the holidays and he usually spends Christmas with us anyway. I couldn't leave him."

Karen didn't say anything. She just nodded and turned on her heel, heading back in to her guests. "Rosie, put the presents under the tree and take their coats," she called before disappearing from the foyer.

Jack shook his head and backed away from Rosie who reached out to help him out of his coat. "This was a bad idea, Will," he said. "I shouldn't be here."

"Jack," Will walked over, stopping him from leaving the manse. "She didn't kick you out. She won't make a scene in front of her society friends, so you don't need to either." Jack still looked unsure, his eyes darting around rapidly and his hands shaking slightly. "Look," Will sighed. "If you get really uncomfortable, just come get me and we'll leave early, okay?" Jack swallowed loudly and finally nodded, licking his dry lips. Will patted his back and joined Grace as they entered the main room where the party was being held.

About an hour later, Jack strolled into the den that held the grand piano, his hands shoved into the pockets of his suit pants. He took in the room, realizing he had never been in there before and walked right up to the piano, his fingers grazing the ivory keys. He sat down and stared at the black and white keys blankly, his chest tight. Karen was completely ignoring him, not that he blamed her. She hadn't spoken to him in two months and Jack only ever heard how she was doing through Will and Grace. He wanted so much to tell her how sorry he felt, how much he wanted her in his life, but the last time he did that she rejected him and he was terrified of being denied again. He felt his eyes tear up again and he closed them before placing his fingers on the keys. He licked his lips, opening his mouth and began to sing as his fingers played a gentle melody.

 " _Maybe I didn't love you_

_Quite as often as I could have_  
_Maybe I didn't treat you_  
_Quite as good as I should have_  
_If I made you feel second best_  
_Girl I'm sorry I was blind_

_You were always on my mind_  
_You were always on my mind_

_And maybe I didn't hold you_  
_All those lonely, lonely times_  
_I guess I never told you_  
_I'm so happy that you're mine_..."

 He felt tears he was holding in start to fall, splashing on the keys and he sniffled, slowing down to get his emotions under control. He sighed and started back up again, completely unaware he was being silently watched.

" _Little things I should have said and done_  
_I just never took the time_  
_But you were always on my mind_  
_You were always on my mind_

  _Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died_

_Give me, give me one more chance_  
_To keep you satisfied_  
_I'll keep you satisfied_

_Little things I should have said and done_  
_I just never took the time_  
_But you were always on my mind_

_You were always on my mind_..."

 He finished the final few chords and played a soft scale. Lifting his hands from the instrument, Jack brought them up to his tired face and rubbed his eyes.

 "That was beautiful," Karen said from the doorway and Jack jumped in surprise.

 He whipped his head around and stared at the image of Karen leaning her shoulder against the doorway of the den, her arms crossed over her chest and a gentle, real smile on her lips. "Uh, what?"

Karen gestured towards the piano with a tilt of her head and walked into the room. "Was that a Willie Nelson song?" she asked calmly.

Jack nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off of her. "Y-yeah," he replied. "I remember you telling me that you liked his music."

Karen's smile grew and Jack felt his heart rate speed up at the sight, an inkling of hope coursing through his body. She sat down on the bench next to him, her bare shoulder brushing against his suit covered arm. "I forgot how beautiful your voice is," she commented, gazing deep into his eyes. 

Jack blinked rapidly at her, unsure of what to do or say. "Am I- am I dreaming?"

Karen let out a quiet laugh, placing her hand on inside of his upper thigh, a gesture she used to do all the time back when they were fiends, and turned her body to face him, her eyes gleaming. "You're not dreaming," she told him with a shake of her head. "I saw you slip out of the party and I..." she hesitated for a moment, her voice small. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Why?" he blurted out. He couldn't help it, he needed to know. He was desperate to find out if she missed him just as much as he missed her and if there was any hope to rekindling their relationship.

Karen bit her lower lip, painted with a deep ruby red lipstick and her eyes flickered back and forth between his. "Because no matter how hard I try, I can't erase you," she whispered. "I wanted to shut you out like I did the others, but I just couldn't. Will and Grace didn't help either," she rolled her yes and scoffed a little to which Jack grinned. "They wouldn't stop yammering on about you and what you were up to, but I honestly didn't mind it."

Jack cleared his throat and placed his hand atop hers on his leg. "So, does this mean you forgive me...?" He searched her eyes and held his breath for her answer. "Because I am so sorry, Karen-"

Karen raised her hand up and pressed a small finger to his lips, stopping him from apologizing again. "I forgive you, Jackie."

He felt relief wash over him and he surged forward, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding on to her tightly. "God, I missed you so much," he sobbed into her shoulder. 

Karen closed her eyes and hugged him back like her life depended on it. "I missed you, too, Poodle." They held on to each other, slowly rocking back and forth until they got their emotions under control. They pulled away and giggled, wiping the trails of tears from each other's cheeks with gentle swipes of their thumbs. Her face turned serious for a moment as she held his between her hands. "But if you pull that shit on me again I will string you up on the Empire State Building by your nipples, got that, jackass?" He quickly nodded, fear in his eyes and Karen leaned forward to peck his lips lightly. "Play me another song," she said when she pulled away, her tone more a demand rather than a question.

Jack stood from the bench and instructed Karen to sit in the middle and to scoot forward. He sat behind her, his legs on either side of hers and he slid his arms under hers, placing his fingers on the keys of the piano. He kissed the back of her shoulder and Karen leaned back against him as he began to play another song, singing softly into her ear.

" _I've got you under my skin._  
_I've got you deep in the heart of me._  
_So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me._  
_I've got you under my skin._  
_I'd tried so not to give in._  
_I said to myself: this affair never will go so well._  
_But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well_  
_I've got you under my skin_?  
  
_I'd sacrifice anything come what might_  
_For the sake of havin' you near_  
_In spite of a warnin' voice that comes in the night_  
_And repeats, repeats in my ear:_  
_Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?_  
_Use your mentality, wake up to reality._  
_But each time that I do just the thought of you_  
_Makes me stop before I begin_  
_'Cause I've got you under my skin._ "

Will and Grace stood in the doorway, smiles adorning their faces as they watched Jack and Karen put the pieces back together on their friendship right before their eyes. Grace reached over and grabbed Will's hand, giving it a quick squeeze. 

"It really is a Merry Christmas," Grace said, leaning her head on his shoulder as Jack finished serenading.

" _I would sacrifice anything come what might_  
_For the sake of havin' you near_  
_In spite of the warning voice that comes in the night_  
_And repeats - how it yells in my ear:_  
_Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?_  
_Why not use your mentality - step up, wake up to reality?_  
_But each time I do just the thought of you_  
_Makes me stop just before I begin_  
_'Cause I've got you under my skin._  
_Yes, I've got you under my skin._ "

 


End file.
